Most would agree that taste varies from person to person. After all, salt and pepper shakers were invented for a reason. There are, however, outliers. Those among us who, against all rational thought, insist upon eating things best reserved for ghouls or other night creatures. Here are ten such entrees.
Pineapple Pizza
Not since the Sack of Rome in 476 by the Visigoths have the Italian people suffered so much. There are fans of this dish who insist the sweetness of the pineapple and the savory ham complement each other magnificently. These people are known as “delusional.”
Anchovies
Speaking of pizza-borne abominations, there is the anchovy. Yes, the anchovy, for those who like their fish oily, salted more than a tide pool, bonier than a Halloween decoration, and staring at them. Oh, it’s also mashed into paste form. Yup, like all great foods, it is served as a paste.
Squid/Octopus
Of course, who wouldn’t want to eat a gelatinous monster with suction cup hands? Some swear that by battering and deep frying, they can call it calamari, and we won’t know. But we do.
Tongue
Whether beef, sheep, goat, or pig, tongue is not a food. Here’s a quick tip: When you’re tasting your food, your food shouldn’t be tasting you. The tongue is put behind a prison of teeth by nature for a reason. That’s science.
Alligator
For whatever reasons exist in the minds of madmen, some eat alligators. I would consider it a personal favor if these people would wear a shirt that identifies them as such so the rest of us know to avoid them. Here’s a hint: Never eat anything that might have eaten someone you know.
Licorice
Known as a candy, it is the taste of orphan tears and old death warrants. These ropes of awfulness are reviled by Trick or Treaters annually. It’s almost a tradition. Like the Jack O’ Lantern Lighting, there is the Throwing Away of the Licorice Ropes.
Candy Corn
There is candy corn for those who want the disappointed faces of kids on Halloween but want their candy to look like a rotten incisor. It is neither of those things.
Circus Peanuts
Want something pink and spongy that is vaguely sweet and probably made sometime around 1910? You’re in luck; they still sell it. Known as Circus Peanuts, these cousins of the common pencil eraser are handed out passive-aggressively by neighbors who not-so-secretly hate you and all you love every October 31st.
Feet
I bet you think that’s a typo. It’s not. Whether chicken or pig, there are those among us who pickle, barbecue, or just plain chow down in the southernmost regions. This makes sense if you think about it; who wouldn’t want to eat the one body part that is in constant contact with where a pig or chicken calls home?
Offal
This is a broad category, but it needn’t be. Offal is as it sounds: Awful. Whether it is liver or kidneys, stomach or spleen, organ meats are dined upon by all manner of horrors in the movies and several in our neighborhoods. This should go without saying (sadly, here we are): leave the brains to the zombies and the hearts to Dracula. For the love of all that is holy, just order a steak.
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