The 1980s were a wild time of bright and bold fashion, wacky haircuts, New Wave music, and some very questionable foods — especially when it came to snacks, desserts, and beverages. Nevertheless, kids and adults alike devoured these products, parents actually bought them for their little ones, and we were all still surprised when they disappeared from store shelves. Here are 12 food & drinks from the ‘80s we can’t believe we consumed.
Big League Chew
“I can’t believe people used to give their children candy cigarettes,” said parents in the 1980s — the same ones who bought their kids Big League Chew, a variety of gum that was shredded into strips to resemble chewing tobacco. And of course we, the kids, packed our cheeks with it in an effort to look like our favorite ballplayers. In retrospect, we’re surprised we were allowed to consume this candy created in 1980…and are even more shocked that Big League Chew remains on the market today!
Bonkers
Nabisco debuted a sweet in the ‘80s called Bonkers, which were advertised as chewable candies containing a fruity center. Our issue isn’t with the “fruity” label (even though the candies consisted of no actual fruit), but instead the word “chewable.” Unfortunately, Bonkers quickly hardened into rock-solid masses capable of breaking a tooth — especially a tooth that has been weakened from years of sugar consumption.
Handi-Snacks
People give guff to Lunchables for being unhealthy, but at least that cheese-and-cracker product (invented in 1985) used actual slices of cheese. Before that, all we had were Handi-Snacks, which debuted in 1980 and encouraged you to spread a semi-gelatinous cheese product onto fragile crackers with a plastic stick. Handi-Snacks still exist, but the company did away with the sticks years ago…for environmental reasons, not because some kids used to pretend they were cigarettes and run around with them in their mouths. (It’s us. We were the kids.)
Hi-C Ecto Cooler
In 1989, Hi-C released a Ghostbusters-inspired flavor called “Ecto Cooler.” As kids, we didn’t know this variety was just a rebrand of the “Citrus Cooler” variety, and assumed because the packaging featured an image of Slimer from Ghostbusters, that it was somehow slime-
flavored…or ghost-flavored. Regardless, we eagerly gulped down box after box of the bright green, fruit-flavored drink.
Hostess Pudding Pies
Hostess was never big on desserts requiring utensils, which is why they rolled out a pudding product you can eat with your hands in 1986. (To keep the experience neat, the pudding was wrapped in a thin pastry shell and covered in chocolate.) The dessert’s slogan was “Pudding Power!” but the only thing this 520-calorie bomb gave us the power to do was immediately take a nap.
Hot Pockets
There’s an endless number of jokes to be made about Hot Pockets (comedian Jim Gaffigan has a whole routine built around them), but the pizza-packed pastries actually contain premium meats, real cheese, from-scratch sauce, and fresh-baked bread. However, those ingredients came about after recipe revamps in 2013 and 2015, and the quality of the original 1983 versions were much more questionable. Fans claim the OG HPs actually tasted better, but they burned off our taste buds years ago, so we can’t tell the difference.
Hubba Bubba Soda
Wrigley’s rolled out the Hubba Bubba bubble gum brand in 1979 and debuted its now-signature product, Bubble Tape, in 1988 — but before that came Hubba Bubba Soda, a drink absolutely no one asked for (except maybe dentists looking for more customers). Not only was it bright pink, like carbonated Pepto-Bismol, but the nutritional facts were a mystery, as labels weren’t required until the ‘90s. But if you were concerned about the caloric content, fear not, as Wrigley’s also released a Diet Hubba Bubba Soda.
Jolt Cola
Before energy drinks became the norm, we had Jolt Cola, a super-caffeinated soda created by C.J. Rapp in 1985. Despite a slogan that now sounds like a warning (“All the sugar and twice the caffeine!”) and a pervasive urban legend about a kid dying after drinking the soda, Jolt found popularity in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. It was discontinued in 2011 but returned with an “energy drink” rebrand in 2017.
Pop Rocks
Pop Rocks have a turbulent history. In the early ‘80s, just a few years after the fizzy candy powder debuted, rumors popped up purporting the product could cause stomachs to boil — with another famous urban legend claiming that Mikey, the Life Cereal spokeskid, died after combining the candy with soda. That myth didn’t scare away enough kids, so General Foods discontinued Pop Rocks in 1983. (They later returned to store shelves in the ‘90s.)
Raisins
There’s nothing wrong with raisins — they’re both tasty and nutritious — but we’re surprised we ate them as kids after being subjected to the California Raisin Advisory Board’s ad campaign that launched in 1986. The commercials featured a fictional claymation band of anthropomorphic dried grapes called The California Raisins, who performed R&B covers of classic songs like “I Heard It Through the Grapevine.” The primitive claymation was incredibly creepy, especially for young viewers, but the campaign ended up being a hit and lasted more than 15 years, eventually getting retired in 2002.
Squeezits
Squeezeits were always a questionable purchase, and not just because the name is way too close to “squeeze zits.” Introduced in 1985, the “fruit-flavored juice” was mostly high fructose corn syrup, and because of its unique bottle design that had to be compressed in order to consume its contents (and were not resealable), they were never truly empty and constantly leaking everywhere. And in case you needed a reminder that Squeezits were closer to candy than juice, the company once did a crossover with Life Savers.
Tidal Wave Bubble Gum
Have you ever bitten into a piece of gum and thought, “This is great, but I wish it would squirt strange, fruit-flavored liquid into my mouth”? If so, Tidal Wave Bubble Gum might be for you. These chews came in a number of flavors, including Chargin’ Cherry, Strawberry Surf, Gushing Grape, and Oceans of Ora
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