The promise of loads and loads of free candy makes Halloween so exciting! Whether you’re a kid or a parent raiding your child’s Halloween bag after they finally sleep, it's true.
Some major letdowns are lurking behind neighborhood doors. (You do not want to be “that neighbor” who hands out trash.) Here’s a list of the worst stuff waiting to get into Halloween trick-or-treat bags.
Mary Jane
We’re not talking about the 420-friendly stuff. We’re talking about Mary Jane candy, first introduced in 1914. We suspect they’ve been sitting around getting hard ever since. It’s supposed to be peanut butter taffy. Financial troubles spelled the end of Mary Janes in 2018, but just like a horror movie villain… they’re BAAACK!!!
Candy Corn
Are they candy? Are they wax? Are they little nuggets of pure high-fructose corn syrup? It doesn’t really matter what they are because, bottom line, candy corn doesn’t belong in Halloween trick-or-treat bags. Need another reason to love hating candy corn?? Check this out… the outside coating is made from a secretion from lac bugs that do nothing in life but produce lac-resin, which gets slathered on candy corn. Now, that is scary.
Black Licorice
This is an OG on the candy list, but no one knows why anymore! The bittersweet flavor tastes more like cough syrup than candy. Twizzlers licorice gets a 50-50 vote. They’re a nice bright color compared to black licorice and have a fruit flavor. However, many say that fruit flavor is not enough to cover up their taste of rubbery.
Tootsie Rolls
The Tootsie Roll: Great dance, terrible candy. Tootsie Rolls will make it into Halloween bags across America this year. Not because people hate children (probably) but because Tootsies are cheap! They’re filler candy, and they’ll never be any more than fillers and worthless when it comes to trading. That goes for the original chocolate-flavored lumps and the fruit chew rolls.
Bit-O-Honey
These candies are honey-flavored taffy with little almond bits folded in. If you like chewing sand and Play-Doh, this candy is for you! The Bit-O-Honey candies are also a nightmare on teeth. It’s not just the sugar; they are awe-inspiring for the way they coat and cling to every tooth and top of your mouth. If you have a kid with a loose tooth dangling, this is the solution.
Hard Candy
Leave these in grandma’s purse, collecting lint. As kids, we didn’t even know those cinnamon or caramel-flavored hard candies were available in bags. We thought they just came fully formed in glass bowls on every side table in America. They certainly don’t belong in Halloween treat bags.
Flavorless Bubblegum
Double Bubble and Bazooka are guilty of posing as pink candy but only offering a powdery coating and no flavor. They’re pretty decent when blowing impressive bubbles, but we’re talking taste here, and flavorless bubblegum is a hard pass. Kids don’t like it, and parents hate how the gum always finds its way onto shoes, carpeting, and hair.
Wax Cola Bottles
Maybe they were cool when they were first introduced. It was probably a bit of manufacturing wizardry getting a few drops of dyed sugar water into the little wax bottles. But, the new wore off long ago, and no one considers getting Wax Cola Bottles a treat. The same goes for Wax Lips. Those don’t even have the dyed sugar water! While they are not toxic, swallowing down lumps of wax has to cause some issues in the tummy area.
Necco Wafers
Necco Wafers has its nostalgic fans. We don’t know any of them, but supposedly, they’re out there. Getting a waxed paper roll with some Necco Wafers inside is how many children first learn what chalk tastes like unless they have already tasted the real deal in school.
Hard pass, just go ahead and splash out on some real chocolate!
Non-candy
Don’t toy with our emotions. People who hand out toothbrushes or erasers shaped like pumpkins or pennies should just turn off all their lights on Halloween and let the kids focus on the good stuff.
From the start, people who failed to hand out something really tasty and edible on Halloween night deserved tricks. Let’s not forget that people! Every item on this list claims to be a Halloween treat. They’re just dressed up for the holiday, trying to disguise the fact they’re awful tastebud tricks. There’s no law stating you shall give out good candy on Halloween night. But there is an unwritten rule: Thou shalt not pass out the dregs of the candy world on All Hallows’ Eve.
Tell Us What You Think